Thru Jim's Eyes 
We are sitting outside Cafe Kona De Pele coffee cafe in Kailua-Kona, Hawai’i. As I relax looking out to the waters of Kona Bay peacefully moving up and down with the light dancing on the mirrored surface, I listen to conversations of other patrons. I love living in an international destination with so much diversity and so much peace.
Not being in the mood for coffee (I know shocking) I order the Strawberry Banana Smoothie and Leise gets her regular, large chai latte. Since we have sworn off pork and all the menu has is a wonderful selection of ham, bacon, or sausage and cheese croissants and bagels we ask if its possible to get anything without pork. We are informed that everything is made fresh and that is will be easy to exclude pork. Thank God!! We order one of each egg and cheese croissant and bagel.
The Strawberry Banana Smoothie is too watered down for my likings. I was expecting much more fruit and much less ice. The egg and Munster cheese croissant is good. The egg and cheddar cheese on the cinnamon raisin bagel was a concern but my concerns have been unfounded. I wasn’t sure if that would be a decent combination. It is quite good. Since it’s all made fresh nothing sits around getting stale. So it’s good, just not amazing. I will eat here again because it’s my wife’s favorite fast chai cafe in town. I will order food again. It’s just not amazing, but a lot better than Denny’s or most fast coffee shops.
On a scale of 1 to 5 surfboards with 1 being it stinks and 5 being its amazing we give Cafe Kona De Pele 3 surfboards for food flavor and quality. For ambience they receive 3.5 surfboards. It is a great place to hang out and relax after the food and drinks are gone and just suck up the Kona Bay feel.
There is a very simple formula for success… If you stay focused on this simple 4 Step Formula you can’t go wrong.
#1 Define your dreams.
#2 Break down your dreams into easy bite size action steps.
#3 You have to cut all dreams stealers out of your life… Period! (see posting “Becoming A Man”)
#4 Run as fast as you can towards your dreams and don’t ever stop until you achieve them.
Anyone who has defined their dreams and gone after them knows that it’s not always that easy. We often get caught up in the head drama of “I would do blank but I can’t because of blank.” When you are defining your dreams do it as if you had no limitations. We always start in Fantasyland and we work into reality. But what is reality? Where would we be without the Steve Jobs and Elon Musk’s of the world? Where would we be if there weren’t people who realized that we define our own realities?
Start with the concept of “What would I do if I knew I could not fail?” then you are starting with the proper mindset. Most people are too caught up in where they are to be able to see where they can go. Once you are past the limited thinking Step 1 is easy… Just dream.
Step 2 is much easier. Imagine yourself in your outcome. You have already achieved your goal. What or who is new or different in your life? By seeing yourself in your outcome all your brain has to do is look back and retrace how you got there. It sounds a little weird to some but try it. You may just find out you are brighter than you thought, especially now that you are thinking clearly from your outcome.
Step 3. You have to cut all dreams stealers out of your life… Period! To make a long story short, you must remove, delete, divorce everyone in your life who is a dream stealer. I had to do it with my birth family. If people can’t be happy for you reaching for the stars, if they want to pull you down, remove them from your life. For details read “Becoming A Man.”
Step 4 is the toughest and the easiest part at the same time. You have defined your dreams. You are all excited about living your dreams. And you have a plan to succeed. All you have to do is a simple set of action steps. Wow. Was living my dreams really that easy? Yes!! And No!! If it was that easy everyone would do it. Remember, to become someone you have never been, you will have to do things you have never done. This is the part that really separates the people who just take pictures from the people who change the world!!!
Inside you lives the most powerful force in the universe, the indomitable will of the spirit. It is what has defined every level of greatness that has ever been reached and achieved by humankind. You can’t fail, unless you quit. Evaluating and if need be changing strategies sometimes is wise. The key is YOU just gotta do it. Start NOW!!! Believe, Believe, Believe. Believe it in every cell in your body, every CELL that you can achieve your dreams and You Will!
Aloha,
ThruJimsEyes.com
People often ask me what it takes to live your dreams. The first and most important thing is this:
#1 You have to cut all dreams stealers out of your life… Period!
Along the path towards your success you will change in many ways. You will outgrow those around you who don’t share or understand or even feel threatened by you achieving your dreams. As you achieve your dreams it shines a light on the fact that they are not living their dreams. They will be like crabs in a bucket.
I recently had an opportunity to go “fishing” for crabs. It was one of the most profound moments of my life. You see, when you catch the crabs you place them in a bucket. That represents your present circle of friends and family. At first you think, oh no, the bucket is starting to fill up and the crabs are going to get out. After all, they can walk sideways. I can’t do that very well. Lol. So you know they will figure out how to climb on top of each other and just climb out of the bucket. But that’s not what happens. What happens is the crabs don’t work together. The crabs do not cheer on their friends, they do not self sacrifice for anything. In fact, just as one crab gets near the top of the bucket, gets close to its dreams of escaping, the other crabs will pull in back down to face the certain unbearable death. You can almost hear them saying, “If I can’t make it then nobody will.”
This is why you must feel comfortable letting go of people, friends and family alike as you go after your dreams. I have been asked who I had to let go of… Almost everyone. When I was redefining myself I told my birth family continuously over a 2 year period who I was growing up is not who I am today, or who I am going to be. You shall treat me with the proper respect that is due me or I have no use for you in my life. They didn’t respond very well to that. They desperately wanted to keep me in the same scapegoat roll that they had me in since childhood.
They didn’t have to agree with my beliefs. I wasn’t trying to convert them into some cult of success minded automatons. Although that’s not a bad plan. Lol. All I was saying is just support my self improvement actions and beliefs because they are my steps for bettering myself. You and I don’t have to agree on everything. We can agree to disagree. But if we support each others right to that which we hold dear then we have a point from which to have intelligent discourse. You don’t tear someone down because they are achieving something different or strive for more than you do. Those are the actions and sentiments of a jealous person. Jealousy of someone else’s success pushes away your own success. If you are happy and build up and encourage others into greater success then your energy resonates with success and all your actions become successful.
When I first divorced my birth family and for several years after I was filled with thoughts of guilt and doubt. But, then I would remember all the years growing up where they were fine as long as I stayed in the little box which they felt comfortable with. My name is not Harry Potter and I will not live under the stairs!! For me to live my purpose and to live my dreams I had to remove myself from that sad dysfunctional family. I refuse to ever live as someone else’s scapegoat ever again. If people are tearing you down then they DON’T love you… Period!!! There has to come a time when you stop allowing people to abuse you. My time came six years ago and I have been happy and free ever since. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Aaaaahhhh!
As you go after your dreams, NEVER, EVER, EVER allow the crabs to pull you back in the bucket. You have to set yourself FREE from the crabs. You have enough personal childhood stories to rewrite you don’t need any more abuse to survive. As a child we have very few rights, but as an adult we can choose to end the abuse at anytime. You can choose to surround yourself with only friends and family who encourage you and ask how they can help you live your dreams. And remember, as Les Brown says, “Sure it may be lonely at the top but the view is just fine.” You will find more like minded people who will support your success as you find your own voice and claim that you deserve it and go after it with a passion. Family should mean “LOVE” it shouldn’t mean abuse. You can choose a new family of friends who love and support you. Friends who only talk to you with love and kindness. This is YOUR choice!
Recently, purely by chance, I happened to run across my old Pastor from the church our family went to in San Diego when I was around 9 or 10. When he asked about my family I didn’t say what I usually tell most people, “They all died a couple years back.” Instead, I shared with him the story of why I let them go in the first place… I told him it was time for me to stop being emotionally abused. After he heard the story, in his pastoral manner he simply said, “So you became a man.”
Thank you Pastor Lou – Yes, I did become a man!
ThruJimsEyes.com
Thru Jim's Eyes 
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