I’m sitting in Kona, in Target, at the Starbucks coffee shop. Leise had shopping to do and I had some paperwork to finish. Asking if they serve Kona coffee here in Kona and being sadly disappointed, I ordered a coffee anyway. Just in case it sucks I order a small. Literally, my thinking was if it sucks I can always find a good cup of joe just about anywhere within spitting distance… Not that I would spit.
As I sit down and start working on my paperwork, as the coffee cools I pull out the blueberry scone I ordered. It’s not bad. It’s definitely not the amazing scones my retired chef wife makes from scratch or even our friend Jill of IslandGirlEats.com. The scone is above the quality of wet cardboard which I have come to expect from most chain eating/drinking establishments. Now it’s time to try the coffee….
At first sip it is too hot, acidic, and taste like dirty socks. I try really hard to not disparage anyone or any business, but this cup is so bad that it pulled me from my paperwork to write this blog. Starbucks calls it a “Golden Blend.” I won’t ask where it comes from, because I refuse to be jaded should I travel to that part of the world and decide to find a good local coffee. Since moving to Hawaii and sampling and learning about so many great coffees I have become a bit of a coffee snob. Although I prefer the term coffee connoisseur. Let’s face it. Crap is crap. You can package it up anyway you want, it is still crap. Like the saying goes, “You can but a pig in a dress, but all you have is a pig in a dress.” This doesn’t make the pig a beautiful model. Likewise with coffee. As another saying goes, “Anything is only as good as it’s weakest link.”
As I take another sip of this horrific cup of dirty sock water hoping it will wake me up, I reach for the sugar praying that I can put enough sweetener in the cup and get the caffeine into my body before my mind registers the flavor. Needless to say, I will never order another cup of Starbucks coffee ever again. Sorry Starbucks, but good hand picked volcanic rich soil coffee your not!
aloha, James Christopher