Trust… or the lack there of, is the basis for the quality of relations. I find myself disappointed on this beautiful day. The day is beautiful. Someone I trusted to cover my back did not. They also failed to follow through by letting me know they would be unable to cover my back. Rules and guidelines are important. They help a child become a productive, active adult and member of society. When followed, the rules will yield a sense of what is right or what should be. Thus yielding a feeling of safety and security and… Trust.
Last Friday, I made a simple request of a friend with whom I am working on a project. I requested this person relay an important message to another person. There was no follow through. This reminds me of the fact that there is one person I can count on, me. Even that I wonder about somedays. Now I’m not meaning to be cynical. It is just nice when you ask something of someone and they actually follow through.
One of my mentors would ask, “Where else is this showing up in your life?” Or “What are you supposed to learn from this?” Another of my mentors would remind me, “We learn the lessons we learn and go through the experiences we do to teach the people we will minister to.”
Personally, I have a love/hate relationship with rules. I love boundaries and guidelines, because they help me know what is expected of me and thus how to help others. I have also held firmly, since childhood, that rules are made to be broken. Someone else’s pre-determined self limitations do not apply to me. If you believed everything said to you, knowing that 80% of incoming information is negative, you probably would not be the amazing person you have become.
So the lesson in this for me today is not to take it personally. Seldom is it. Most people don’t think that deeply about anyone other than themselves. For now I will not rely on this person again. Further, I will do my best to step up more in my own life and follow through with anything asked of me or anything I say I will do.
As I sit it a chair in our living room, windows open, light tradewinds blowing across my skin, wind in the palm trees outside, the Mina birds singing and calling to each other, I wonder about this project: My Hawaiian Blog. I was discussing with Leise this morning how I was pondering what it means to be living in Hawaii and what do I write about. I love my wife. I am grateful for her presence in my life both personal and professional. She reminded me of the simple things which I have, after 1 year, started to take as common place. Things like: the coconut. From there I remembered seeing the yellow billed cardinal, or the red crested cardinal, and the koi fish, and snorkeling in a new spot and getting so excited because I recently saw the largest, boldest, brightest Moorish Idol fish I have ever seen. With all these memories flooding back to me I remember this thing called Hawaii, a veritable Garden of Eden, is a place and space which most people dream about. I am reminded of how much I love living here. I share my experiences of living in Hawaii from that place of complete gratitude.
We are truly blessed. I mean, as an experience we are blessed. This thing we call God, The Infinite Intelligence, The Divine, The Big Kahuna. I have heard many speakers and great thinkers passed and present say we just need to quiet our mind and live in gratitude. It was recently when I connected to that Source again. In my youth I did meditation. In my middle years I went all organic to get healthy and an ancillary benefit was a greater openness to and connection with that Source.
Today, after having an truly amazing weekend, I was in a funk. What the heck was this about? So I asked God for a way to be happy instead of being in a funk, slightly depressed, not liking the world or the people in it. God answered my little prayer thoughts. I was trying to get out of myself out of my car, trying to motivate myself into doing something and a little yellow Saffron Finch landed on the car door on the passenger side. She was beautiful. An instant later a second Saffron Finch landed on top of the side view mirror. The first tapped at her reflection in the side mirror. First I said “Thank you God.” Then I asked myself what was this about, this bird pecking at the mirror over and over and over again. Then it came to me, this bird was fighting its own image. It was pecking at itself. This Was The Message. In my heart I heard God speak and the message was this, “Jim, I love you. Stop picking at yourself. Stop trying to fight the visual image which is not the truth. The truth is you are blessed. The truth is I am with you. The truth is you are loved and cared for and watched over. The truth is those things you called problems are only stepping stones and learning lessons which you asked for. Remember when you asked Me for greatness. The path to your greatness, Jim, is through those lessons. Some call them trials and tribulations. The key is to know, absolutely know, that I Am with you. I love you. If you need me again just smell at the bouquet of a flower or feel the warmth of the sun or of the love of another person. Anytime you experience something wonderful remember I Am with you. Every time you experience something which is not so wonderful remember that is just a lesson or stepping stone designed to get you closer to your goals and dreams and I Am with you.”
So today I am grateful. I am grateful for the little reminders in life that we are not alone. I am grateful for this past weekend of snorkeling both Saturday and Sunday in some amazingly clear water. I am grateful for seeing new fish which I haven’t seen before. I am grateful for my friend Dave who is teaching me the coffee farming industry. I am grateful for my amazing wife. I am grateful for the Big Island Film Festival watched in our beach chairs on the grass under the stars. I am grateful for amazing sunsets. I am grateful for my readers. I am grateful for my mentors. I am grateful for little Saffron Finches. Mahalo pu’uwai ke akua. (thank you from my heart Lord)